Just short of four months after trading the Camry for Iris. The engine was gone. I don't mean gone as in missing or just not there. But instead, there,but not functioning as in something blew. Please excuse me if I can't explain the mechanics. Being Iris's owner has already caused me to have to know more about mechanical things than I ever wanted to. Anyways, the engine was gone and that's not good when you still have 32 payments left. The used,oops, pre-owned lot where I had traded agreed to pay for another engine if I paid their mechanic the labor and all costs involved in the installation. Engine $1000. Mechanic $2700.The whole engine replacing ordeal took forever and I didn't get my car back until September. Thankfully my personal assistants offered to use their vehicles when driving me. After a new, well not new, but different engine, I then replaced a catalytic converter for $800. Are hearing the Cha-Ching money sound in your head about right now? Yeah,me too. About March of last year, the air conditioning quit. I was able to get that working again for a few hundred dollars. The actual repair was estimated at around $1400 but they said they could try something else for a few hundred dollars but no promises if or how long it would work. I opted for the lesser of the two evils and thankfully it still works.A few months ago the wipers wouldn't shut off so the girls(my personal assistants) have all learned to remove the fuse and if it starts to rain,we just pull into the nearest car wash bay or any other covered area and pop the hood and put the fuse back in. A couple weeks ago I was headed to the mall and noticed the gas hand was all the way on the empty sign. I knew that couldn't be right as I should've had more than half a tank. We went to the gas station where it only took a few gallons to top off which confirmed the gauge wasn't working. Ok, no big deal I thought. If I can deal with the wipers I can manage the whole gas gauge issue so I continued on my way. The screen on the dash was saying something about the anti-theft system and there was annoying dinging sound. A few minutes later the rain started falling so...you guessed it...we pulled into a gas station to put the fuse in so the wipers would work The day was not going as planned. I just needed to get to the mall. Was that too much to expect? Apparently so because Christine, I mean Iris, refused to shift from park into Drive and she locked us in,and, as if that wasn't enough,she turned the radio off. There we were, other cars waiting for us to move but we can't. I decided I better call for some advice but just as the Cadallac dealer service department answered, Iris unlocked the doors and turned the radio back on and allowed us to shift to Drive. When Iris finally allowed us to get to the mall, there was another issue. We could shut the engine off but not the juice from the battery,that's right,if I went into the mall, I would have to either leave the engine running and chance someone stealing Iris. Now that I think about it,maybe that was what I should've done and then prayed really hard for it to happen. The other option, I could leave the battery running and if the battery died just get a jump. I was on the hunt for new Summer Sandles, a Pretty Shirt, and a new Black Dress. I knew my fashion prey was inside that mall but Iris sure wasn't helping me to get in there and find it so I did what any gal whose demon possessed Cadillac was thwarting her shopping trip. Go see the guys at O'Reilly's and ask them to unhook the battery in hopes of resetting the codes and canceling the Anti-Theft System Service Needed message that kept flashing.(after googling the problem and reading this might work) I honestly wasn't even aware my car had any kind of anti-theft system and I sure didn't know how it worked or why it would need to be serviced. But there we were,unable to turn the car off,remove the key,( yes I forgot to mention Iris would not allow us to remove the key) and go in the mall, so YES it definitely needed servicing. Unfortunately, disconnecting and reconnecting the battery didn't help but it DID fix the wipers. They referred me to a garage nearby where we sat patiently as they tried several tricks. Most mechanics just kind of act like they don't want anything to do with Iris but these guys were so nice and really seemed as they cared. Their diagnosis was a new ECM $500 Labor $100. It would take a week to get the part. Well, I had already spent my entire shopping day tending to Iris. I had a very important hair appointment in a couple of days. My gray was already showing so how could I possibly live without my car for that long not to mention I had FUN plans for the weekend. I ask if there was a way to disconnect power from the battery and then reconnect to start and if so show us how. So that's how we roll these days. The process has become such the norm that after two weeks I'm not even concerned that the garage hasn't called yet but I guess I'd better give them a call. By the way.....the wipers aren't fixed after all but on a positive note, I really felt like those mechanics were honest and interested in keeping Iris running for me, if so, the ordeal is worth the inconvenience. Do you think if I start calling her Denise it would change things?
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